Thank you Cindie! Last night as I was heading for bed (he wanted to stay up and play WoW, I had a tooth ache, so early night for me), I told him I had posted on here if he wanted to read it and see if there is more we needed to talk about. Turns out he had wanted to talk about it all night, but it was our date night (aka our Gordon Ramsey night), and he knew it would end up being a good hour or more long convo if he brought it up during the shows.
So we lay in bed, talking about what we want to do (take it slow), what we want for each other (starting to attend monthly Munch's, and get to know more people in the kink community, without there being any pressure), and what we'd like in the future (I don't want a second husband, I want to date a man or woman, or both or either, and do things every now and then, that Storm doesn't enjoy, such as camping, art museums, horror movies, etc).
We spent a good amount of time just talking. It was wonderful that it came from an honest place, and not out of anger, hurt or worry. No tears, nothing angry, etc. It was good!
We decided to make friends first...so that there is some sort of foundation. If anything becomes more for either of us, then wonderful. But we're not pushing for each other to find another person, etc. No more racing. No more trying to force something that isn't there.
We also set up some boundaries so that we can share some aspects (for example, if I am chatting with someone from OKC, then I can tell him I'm chatting with a friend, and leave it at that - if it's a cyber convo, I can share parts of it later, that help he and I enjoy our sexy time together; he can do the same, he need not tell me everything and can share what he feels comfortable with sharing).
We both understand that this can and will take time to develop. No need to run head first into a brick wall, haha. I know women have a tendency to get more responses on dating sites (I get many every day, but honestly 99% are nothing I would reply to), but hopefully Storm now sees it as I've been seeing it:
QUANTITY =/= QUALITY
Meaning many fish swim by, but I'm looking for something very specific, and won't be trying to catch and bring home all of them
I've also realized that I honestly don't want another husband. I am not looking for a life partner, because I have no desire to replace Storm. He's my main squeeze, I love him and it's for life. Anyone extra is simply that, extra.
I compare it to eating chicken fingers (I know, weird!): we both love the chicken finger platter from Denny's, and we always get honey mustard dipping sauce. But every now and then, I would love to try a sweet and sour sauce, a BBQ sauce, etc. Doesn't mean I will change and only want the others, because my honey mustard is my favorite and my staple. I just like a taste of the others now and then.
Ok, I shall shut up now
I can feel the pain killers (for my broken tooth) still working and I am rambling off again. Storm did say he read this and was hoping others would jump in and offer advice, so thank you again Cindie
I'm also very glad that he and I are on the same table and are not closing the door entirely, just taking it much slower