Originally Posted by Sisyphus
If someone is actively involved with multiple partners, sexually and romantically, but is emotionally incapable of allowing these partners the same freedom, is that person truly polyamorous?
My question is, what's in it for you to be able to judge a person as "truly" polyamorous or not?
In my experience, polyamory is about people figuring out how to interact with others, openly, and with negotiated boundaries, and the confidence that potholes, speedbumps, and bomb craters will be navigated with love.
It's not about me judging whether the other person is Polyer Than Thou. It's a matter of mature and loving praxis. Not ideological judgment. Then again, I and my partners aren't terribly big into the speculative analysis part of relationships. We're hands-on people, geeks, engineers, DIY types. There are moments when each of us, with all our limits and baggage and mended/repaired spots, surprise ourselves and the other(s) with our bigness. That's what makes it worthwhile to me. Not determining which of us meets the ecclesiastical test of True Poly Or Not. We could dance those angels on that pin forever, and end up mostly with pricks. So to speak.