Originally Posted by persephone
The only possible legitimacy I can see behind a OPP is the fear of pregnancy. It isn't unreasonable for your husband to not want to help raise another man's child. You two should definitely discuss what would happen if an accidental pregnancy resulted from another relationship. Outside of that issue, I think he needs to get over this.
I agree...he does need to get over this. He says that he feels that the whole reason behind his idea - 2 wives and him is so that each of us women can fulfill each other as far as having someone to spend time with - watch movies, talk, hang out - etc all the things HE does NOT want to do.
As far as pregnancy - this would not be an issue whatsoever. I think it comes down to him just basically wanting what he wants - and he may have unleashed a demon he didn't think about when he said he wanted a poly relationship....he took that as he gets what he wants and I am left dealing with that. Which I have and I must say it was heartbreaking seeing him with someone else - and seeing her with my husband and seeing him change and act so differently with her than he does with me. Which I know is NRE - but what also hurt is this whole OPP policy. It makes me feel that I don't deserve to find someone like he has to be there for me as well....
I am not trying to make this well he has someone so to be fair I should have one - but honestly - I never would have thought I would want this lifestyle to begin with and now that i see that this is a very loving type of relationship having others to share my love with --- why should I be restricted to just the women (who mind you are straight) he chooses? I too want closeness and intimacy - not just him having the best of both worlds...
Sorry to ramble....i am feeling very hurt and confused. As I had posted in a different thread - I felt rejected when he brought home a straight woman and said here deal with it - this is all you can have???