Originally Posted by CielDuMatin
Several things that you have posted about what you want out of your relationships have to do with you setting up a place according to your rules - you will work out what BC should be used, you will not allow other men to live there, but you will allow your women to have outside relationship, etc. - if they don't like them they can leave. This sounds a lot like "my way or the highway".
In order to be respectful of the people with whom you have a relationship, the "ruleset" should be something negotiated between you - because even though they may not have it all written down and thought-out, everyone has a ruleset, or set of boundaries.
So this may well be the language you are using here - in which case, maybe you could explain more, but this comes across as "I am going to make the rules. Everyone has to sign on to my rules. They will be happy with my rules, or they can leave." The undertone (without you explicitly saying it) is that their rules don't matter, because yours trumps all of them.
Yeah I'm not a stingy person at all. Very fair and interested in the well being of others. Though I will have my rules and that will be there at the outset, what they want can be negotiated as well. The reason I have my rules are to protect the entire sanctum. Exceptions (poking holes in some rules) could be made to people who demonstrate respectful behavior (likely those who have been around the longest and earned trust). But outside of my rules, yes, good point, listening to their needs and negotiating that with them so everyone is still ok and happy and feeling respected will be paramount in treating them as I would want to be treated myself.