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Old 09-04-2012, 01:26 PM
Invi Invi is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Las Vegas, NV
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
How old is baby? Have you been checked for post partum depression? Is he pulling his share of the new baby work load? Because if he isn't?

Then no wonder you feel annoyed/angry/jealous. Because you are in an isolated space, in a demanding role with not enough support from your partner. He may very well be your only adult contact right now. You are awash in kiddieland. (Nursing a newborn is every hour on the hour at the start! Sleep is precious! You are not going to feel right as a nursing mom til it hits the every 4 hr blocks and you can snatch longer sleep and you feel less irritable.)

Meanwhile he is getting to be at work interacting with Adults, time off to date for pleasure, and not being full present to parent duties when at home? Luxuries YOU do not get right now.

So did you make this baby alone or what?

If this is the place you guys are at? You need to man up a bit about knowing and stating your wants, needs, and limits for this baby time.

He needs to man up a bit about doing more in this baby time.

And yah, perhaps that means chill or even Close to any new relationships until the babe is older and the demands on your Time less heavy.

There is a REASON we are Closed through parenting time over here. I know some people do not Close, but we did. It's just maddening to meet kiddie demands and have to juggle our own couple things AND be dealing in other people wants, needs, and limits. Something has to give, and it's a lot easier to Close and let of that for a while. Some things CANNOT be let go of -- like the baby care and self care.

Make sure you each are tending your mental health, emotional health, physical health, and spiritual health. As well as help to tend each other's buckets. Parenting is a team effort. Please take better care of yourselves/each other in this baby time. Baby needs you well in ALL your health buckets.

GG
First, I would like to say that I am especially glad to see your reply; I really enjoy reading your posts on here. You seem to think in a way that I wish I could emulate. Everything always seems so clear.

Our son is right at 19 weeks. I have not been checked for PPD since he was about 6 weeks old, though my mother suspects it. Somehow me talking to a friend back where I came from about our relationship got back to one of my brothers who told my mother, so since then I have been able to somewhat talk to her about these things. She dislikes the entire situation, but suspects that I may have a touch of the baby blues helping with my stresses.

Aside from baby well-checks, and my own occasional doctor's appointment, he is pretty much the only adult I interact with.

He does help, like I said above, but usually just when asked. That doesn't bother me most of the time. I'm content to hold the baby most of the time. He's an "easy baby." Doesn't cry too often, sleeps well, eats well, and is occasionally happy to play by himself on a blanket on the floor while I make a sandwich or something.
Sometimes, I just want him to offer to take him before I ask.
He does help with more than just the baby sometimes, which is definitely appreciated, though to be honest, I usually prefer that he take the baby so I can have my body back for a bit.

He tends to only go out once a week, rarely twice. This is something we renegotiated to recently, up from once a week, which he thought was unrealistic. He would not be interested in limiting himself to less, from what I can tell, and I don't think closing would be an option.
He wants several children, so we'd be talking about closing for several years.
On top of that, he has health issues that concern him. He very much wants to pack as much as he can into what he sees to be, overall, a very short life.

I'm trying to de-stress in any way I can, trying to think positive, stay healthy, etc.
Sometimes, it's just hard. I guess I've always been a pessimist, and that doesn't help.



I feel I may have been rambling at points during this post, and if that is the case, I apologize. If I missed something, just let me know. It's just past six in the morning, and I have yet to go to bed.
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