Originally Posted by lovefromgirl
Possibly the part where, in the very post I'm quoting, you state you're looking at impressionable girls for your arrangement? You can't be much younger than forty, and you're a man -- how old does a woman have to be to become a woman? And by that time, is she already too old for you?
I get the impression that you are independently wealthy. Is this wealth inherited? Earned? How are you maintaining your lifestyle?
CdM should know his island geography, what with his own travels. He has told me a lot about the "dynamic" in various places, and trust me, he's never had stories to tell about wild parties. Perhaps about expats; the English party boys on Ibiza (that would be my experience) are not representative of the people who live and work there all year. So who lives and works where you do? And what are their values?
Unless your potential lovers are orphans, they probably have families who will be raising their eyebrows at this. How do you plan to cope with your lovers' families?
I don't think your fiancée will stay long enough for any of this to become her problem. If she does, it might not be as your fiancée. Why go to all the trouble of planning a wedding? What does marriage offer each of you that cohabitation does not?
As for listening to the gurus: I am biased when it comes to CdM, but I can tell you that the people who are responding have it together. They know what this poly thing is. You might read some of the blogs for an idea as to how various members' relationships work, then ask them about their own experiences if those experiences resonate. You came here for advice. Accept that when you do come for advice, we're going to react as if you want to listen. nycindie isn't known for sugarcoating anything -- hell, neither am I, but I'm trying to be nice. Really and truly I am. Honey, not vinegar.
And I should probably not respond when my night meds kick in, either . . .
Love your response. You are also very objective and direct. I really trust your foresight. I might just have to let her go. I'm thinking I will have to. It's probably the most respectful thing I could do. If she wants to come back she can, but the best thing would be to show I respect her own ideals and that I can honor them by letting her go and find a new path to enjoy them on.
About everyone having it together. I agree with you. I totally respect them on that level. But it's coming in some cases with a mountain of dung and flies. But still, I am desperate to become educated, so I still extract every bit of insightful helpful info I can from the smelly mountains of dung responses I've gotten.