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Old 09-04-2012, 07:13 AM
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PolyPhonic PolyPhonic is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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This has got to be one of my favorite responses. I absolutely love your objectivity. Thank you deeply for responding. I really appreciate it. If possible in the future, may I simply private message you if I have a question requiring your sensibilities?
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
The way you write does suggest that you believe you have 'women' all figured out.
Ok, I do believe that, but I am also open to the fact that I have some things to learn. But to me the full range of women, I understand. There still are probably little details to fill in some of the spaces in understanding, but I do understand women. Well, mono women anyway.
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Obviously, you don't or you wouldn't have started this post in the first place
Well actually I started this because I have very little knowledge about the dynamics between Mono/Mono opening up to Mono/Poly and possibly becoming fully Poly, and it has nothing to do with women or men, but about what the combination of women and man can do in facing this "growth" situation and each has different ideas about what the other is thinking they are doing and is feeling threatened. That was the reason I posted this. Not because I needed to understand women. I do already.
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
-but that is the way your writing reads. Additionally, you say things like 'cock blocked' and that comes across as though you think having that other woman too is your god-given right and your fiance is just 'in the way'.
Yeah I guess that was a bad word to choose judging from the response. But I was just trying to find some way to describe how she is acting. I was going to say "pussy blocking" but because it had no context like we have now about the cock blocking, I thought that people would say "what's pussy blocking supposed to mean?" Turns out people here mince your words like it's a burning at the stake, so it probably doesn't matter what I say, if they don't like what they feel is my general sentiment they're against me.
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
You write that you want to respect her and have what you want- something I do understand as I am poly, bf is mono. We agree to a number of boundries that keep his mono self 'safe and secure' and allow my poly self to exist without destroying him.
God I would love to hear what they are!? This is the nuggets I was searching for. Cut to the chase please. Privately if you are comfortable to share but not in front of the group.
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
But, you also write as though you need to convince her and that isn't respecting her as an individual that does not have to accept a poly-mono dynamic.
No that was a miscommunication here. If I didn't say so, what I was trying to tell everyone here, was that I tried to do that, and that for her to try and understand me and my ideas better I was "peddling" her the concepts. That didn't mean it was for her to buy, it just meant it was for her to learn about by my own insistence. But I wasn't trying to convince her to become a poly, though I tried to see if she agreed with the philosophy during the "peddling" process, as I'm sure everyone in that situation does, they try and feel out their partner to see if they are open to the same thing or not. I just used the wrong words to describe it here I guess. People are very critical here. I don't know. Maybe it's just to me
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Furthermore, the majority of what you have written suggests that women want and need to be taken care of, provided for
Uh, no man. That is not what I intended to communicate. I was just saying that I am an honorable part of a partnership in that I would provide those things. It doesn't mean I need to like some demented mother teresa or something, lol.
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
and whatever 'kept in the zone' is. That is seriously disrespectful sounding.
Meaning, that when a women is becoming emotional, which because of their biology they can lose their logic, I am able to help them through whatever it is, and get them back to a place of reasoning. That is indeed a lot for people to swallow and women hate to hear that. But the science is out there. If you don't want to accept that, that's ok to me. I know what I know, and I believe it to be true, because I know it from my own experiences. It doesn't mean you can't think different and still be a respectful person to me, but the women I get involved with happen to always fit that science.
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
It sounds very chauvanist and marginalizing of women. Especially to women who are 'evolved' enough (no I dont subscribe to that evolution bs) to manage not only to care for and support themselves and their children, but to juggle multiple deep, meaningful, loving romantic relationships with men and women, simultaneously.
Yep, I totally understand that sounds chauvinist. It just happens to be one thing I do believe about the differences between man and woman. I also believe men have penises and women can make babies, and a few other biological differences that feminists can call me chauvinist over. But women who are not on a mission to be "equal" to men understand what I'm talking about. There are differences, and women lose their reasoning when they get emotionally filled up. I know feminists will disagree out of principle. But principle doesn't change science or statistics. They can do their research if they want to.
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
If you want sincere advice on how to communicate with a woman, it stands to reason that listening to what the women here are saying would be beneficial. Because so far, you have managed to offend the sensibilities of every single woman whose replied to you.
Yes, I guess I have. Maybe they all have complexes. I don't know. It is the real world, and people are just going to get freaked out by me. I just have to get used to that I guess.
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
That suggests that either you are prone to relationships with women who are not as independent as the poly-women on this board
Absolutely true.
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
OR you may be prone to offending women in rl
Not as prone as you would think, but it does happen yes.
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
OR you are really lacking in written communication skills.
Must be part of it.

So ALL THREE
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Unfortunately, there is no way for any of us to know for sure. Unfortunately for you, it would appear that the end result is the majority assuming that you are sexist, chauvanistic and arrogant in real life.
Well that's just wonderful. I don't come across that way in real life...at least with women that have stayed around me to get to know me. But that might be a self-fulfilling result because maybe the women who disagree with me veer away from me. When I do speak viewpoints that don't agree with the viewpoints of feminism than I get knocked but that's only natural. You can't preach to the choir words from Black Sabbath.
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