So. this week has been one massive, interesting, annoying, satisfying and confusing week. Storm has let me know that he is NOT ok with poly. At least that is what I think he said. He's not outright said if he has an issue with it or not. He worries that I will neglect him, so for now I've removed my profiles and am not seeking any outside relationships. I want him to feel secure and loved, before adding in any more ingredients to the pot.
This is a bit tough for me. Not the not seeking others. Just knowing, having experienced it, that I am poly. Storm has not been with anyone else, so I don't know what he thinks of that (is he? isn't he? etc).
I have learned and now understand that he does enjoy my energy when I am pursuing another (or am being pursued). He says that he does not have problems with me dating another. I think the problems come when he knows the person. He has long hated most typical males, and that is a trigger for him. Do I simply not introduce them? Wait until it is more than a date or two before introducing? Ugh, I've never been in this spot, and am completely confused.
So I don't know what to do.
Do I close the poly door and hide what I really want, who I am, for the sake of my husband's feelings? Do I take this break, and later (say a month or however long it need be) silently start seeking another? Do I seek regardless? I won't do that, it isn't who I am. I am just having a lot of things go through my head.
Will he ever be "ok" with me dating another? I'm not looking for someone to move in, to be my life partner, etc. I am wanting a guy to date. To have fun. To do different things with, that Storm and I do not do (e.g. camping, fishing, art galleries, etc). I'm not looking to replace him, by any means. I want someone else, as well as him. Am I being greedy?
Me: 33 F
Married to: Storm 35 M