he started talking about women that are in a different league to others, women who pretty much all would consider truly beautiful. He listed a few people with which I agreed. Then he mentioned a girl he's in love with and has been for some time now, a girl that for several reason's I can't help but have a little bit of a inferiority complex about (see thread I started in May).
Can I take a stab in the dark? (And I could be totally off the mark but I will stab anyway.)
And were the other people like movie star celebs? That are safely out of reach that he would NEVER actually have rship with? So it felt "safe" to you emotionally to ponder?
And then came this "in real life" chick -- who sends you into emotionally unsafe land because she IS real and reachable?
And then this ack/jealous/fear thing comes up because god knows if she's from the land of Jedi Players or some muppet show freak?
And you have nooooo control over that and can only wait and see how the rship with your shared honey simmers along. As he (and you second hand) get to know her and her ways if he is going to try to explore something there with this woman. And the anxiety because if she fucks him up and walks off YOU are the one left holding the emotional bag that is the mess that is him. And what did you do? Nothing.
Welcome to polyworld heebie jeebies! "Buckle up! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"
Poly is edge play of the heart, man. Both horrible AND wonderful at the same time. Right out there on the edge. A poly friend of mine recently made me laugh so. "OMG! I could tell you stories that would make you hair curl and then I could tell you stories that could make your chest explode!"
I soooo dislike dating. I like ORE so much better and the players are KNOWN quantities then with solid character references. Sigh. Strangers are scary! But everyone has been at the square one place sooner or later. *hug*
Hang in there!