Originally Posted by snowmelt
You've put a lot of effort into explaining how open minded you are, but you have not been able to see your girlfriend's desire to be mono as a valid, healthy, honorable option for her. While claiming to be open minded, you have actually been very closed minded about the lifestyle choices other people make that are different from the one you have chosen for yourself. People who are truly open minded see the value in all lifestyle choices, including monogamy. They respect the lifestyle choices others make for themselves, even when different from their own.
Well the reason I started this discussion was to try and help us be Mono/Poly. Outside of the help here, it's been next to impossible for me to create any usable middle ground for either of us. So we both respect each other's style, but she's trying to get me to be mono and I'm trying to tell her how it is that I think poly in an attempt to see if she could either:
1) tolerate it
2) figure out how to connect the dots in the middle (compromise)
3) embrace it
Neither of us is forcing either one to either side. That's just all the tools we have right now, to either not talk, or to try and convince the other to switch, or find middle ground. And we're both totally new to this, and she has the added disadvantage of not understanding it, whereas I've been through monogamy for almost 15 years but completely feel polyamorous and so can understand both mono and poly.
I'm getting some great advice here from you guys though and it's helping a lot. You are all helping us! Thanks so far...