There is, I promise you. The three of them have shown me more love, kindness, and affection than anyone else I've ever been with, and most of the people I've known in my life. I know they love me. But that's the thing: I know that, but I should see that and feel that. Sex is an important way to do that, not the only way, but the department I feel like we are lacking in.
I suppose what I'm asking is help directing my loved ones to doing what you just said: using sex to express our love and not as a bargaining chip. I can't say I'm not guilty of this myself, but I try my hardest to steer away from this.
If this worked how I feel it should, anyone and everyone would be able to express this freely without fear of upsetting anyone else. I maintain that this still requires some care and concern about other's feelings, but if we truly love each other, there shouldnt be much more feeling beyond that love. I don't understand where the jealousy is coming from on their part. I personally love seeing them love each other. Yes, when I wake up and walk into a small orgy first thing in the morning, it's startling, but I am happy for them (and generally enjoy it in a sexual sense).
I know that sometimes feelings get pushed to the wayside, but as intelligent, caring adults, it shouldn't be this hard to verbalize those concerns in a rational, calm manner.