Thread: Poly...ish?
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Old 09-03-2012, 02:46 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,924

Polyamorous with a large helping of hypocrisy.

Some religious inspired models of multiple relationships are based on one person - usually a man - having multiple wives while the wives could not see anyone else.

People can and do make this kind of unequal relationship work, at least for a while. One Penis Policies (OPP) can work for a time. D/s relationships can include this dynamic.

I personally *really* value the generally egalitarian ethos of polyamory as opposed to the religious God Says One Penis Policy (GSOPP). I really value that women are equal sexual beings who own and control their sexuality. Poly as a social movement is influenced by feminism and has many leaders who are women.

I would be unable to make a relationship work with someone with the attitudes described above. I do not deal kindly with hypocrites. I do not value people who do not value equality. This often seems to be a stereotypical sticking point for straight men (I have never heard of a gay man trying this on male partners.) Many women also have this wish to play the field but are extremely reluctant to allow their husbands or wives the same. Both often describe the surprising jealousy they experienced when partners find other partners. It's always ok to feel one's feelings but it is not ok to make a partner unequal or less than they could be to cope with one's feelings.
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