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Old 09-03-2012, 12:55 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 2,000

Originally Posted by Cleo View Post
GalaGirl, she's never going to apologize to me. It's just not how she is or how she's functioning in this relationship. She feels she's in a relationship with my husband only...
Originally Posted by Cleo View Post
But even if he lived closer I would not want see him more than once a week for a sleepover and maybe one more coffeedate - not like the 5 dates my husband has had with his GF the past 10 days (and in this period, him and I only spent the evening together.
The first quote above really concerns me. Is she really interested in poly? She's correct in that you are not in a sexual relationship with her but... Does she acknowledge your existence and place in his life in any way? You do not need to be best buds or even like each other but recognizing that each other exists and has a place in your husband's life is a minimal requirement. No wonder you distrust her. I would have great issues with someone who didn't acknowledge that I wasn't a random woman in our partner's life.

I don't need to like someone - I didn't care much for SW's girlfriend. (We had little in common besides SW.) But I did respect her. Life is so much easier when partners pick people who are respectful and worthy of being respected. You have neither I'm afraid and that makes everything worse.

What was the fallout in her other relationships from her cheating? Is she trying to address those? How do her other relationships appear?

I ask because I wonder if she is a cowgirl. I understand why you are distrustful of her. She has not acted in a trustworthy manner towards you (and this is separate from how she acted towards your husband).

Is that many dates with her and few with you normal? Or is that unusual perhaps because of the event she hosted? If that's normal, I see why you want to address that.
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