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Old 09-03-2012, 12:29 PM
persephone persephone is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 68

I am fluid bonded with my husband. I would like to be fluid bonded with boyfriend #1, even though he is the one of my two OSOs whom I see less often. The main reason I want this is that boyfriend has some functional issues that make condom usage very difficult for him, to the point where we didn't even have a complete act of PIV sex (meaning he was able to stay erect for more than a couple of minutes, and orgasm) until we'd been together for six months. Managing this is still a long shot for us. I have shown him written clean STD tests when I've been tested, and will do so again the next time I see him. He is STD-free as well, and has a vasectomy.

The reason we have not gone ahead is boyfriend's wife, who acts like my written results from a lab are a pack of lies, and frets that I will get pregnant and have his baby despite his years-old, successful vasectomy. (I'm 48 years old and would never consider having another child even if it was possible.) Boyfriend's wife exiled him from their bedroom two months ago (for reasons unrelated to this specific issue), and I know that sex is not really happening between them right now except on rare occasions. They are considering themselves "separated" even though he has not moved out, and they do still see a counselor together. I am very sad for them, but was somewhat hopeful that the separation meant that he might at least be able to fluid bond with me. He just told me he can't, because he fears that if we have unprotected sex even once, she will use that as an excuse to end their sex life permanently, maybe even stop trying to work things out. Knowing her, he is probably right. I will not be bringing up the issue again, he's hurting enough.

I could consider fluid bonding with boyfriend #2, whom I see more often anyway, but he is still fertile and since I can't use chemical methods of birth control and diaphragms give me UTIs, I will stick with condoms for now.

One thing I have always found interesting about fluid bonding is that some people see it as purely practical, and others see it as more emotional. I thought I was firmly in the first camp, but recently figured out that the idea of offering fluid bonding to boyfriend #2 upsets me, because it's something I have always wanted to give to #1, and can't. So far boyfriend #2 isn't asking for it, and he may not.

Last edited by persephone; 09-03-2012 at 12:31 PM.
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