Originally Posted by MeeraReed
Also, I wanted to point this out because it occurred to me when I read some of your earlier posts: you and your husband have different ideas about what kind of poly relationships each of you wants. You have "lovers"--men in other cities whom you can visit for caring, sexy friendships. He has a "girlfriend"-- someone he wants to be very integrated into his life, to meet all the friends he shares with you, to go out to dates/events in a public community that overlaps with yours.
Your lovers don't overlap with your husband's social life, right? So that means your husband has it easier than you, kind of? Because you have to struggle with having your own social life impacted by his girlfriend (his emotionally immature girlfriend). But he doesn't have to deal with seeing you with your lover(s) at his social events.
this isn't completely accurate - we don't necessarily have different views, the people we met sort of shaped the way the r'ships are now.
My husband has met my 2 boyfriends (lovers, I'm always confused what to call them) a couple of times. The boyfriend I see most often (about once a week) has met a number of my friends and would probably be more integrated in my social life if he did not live so far away. But even if he lived closer I would not want see him more than once a week for a sleepover and maybe one more coffeedate - not like the 5 dates my husband has had with his GF the past 10 days (and in this period, him and I only spent the evening together once).
To be fair, he's not really trying to integrate her that much into his social life. They never go anywhere together. This event was a special occasion because she was one of the hosts.