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Old 09-03-2012, 06:22 AM
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PolyPhonic PolyPhonic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Well, for one thing, in the other thread you referred to poly folk as "more evolved" than mono folk. I notice that while you've answered most other posts in that thread, you have avoided the one where I commented on that. That doesn't seem terribly "open-minded" to me, to be honest, as I wrote in that other thread.
Ohhhhhhh, so this has just been a projection of your own frustration with me not giving that attention and now spiraling it into that I am avoiding it because I either disagree or can't see the other way.

No no, I intend to answer that soon. I have it in my email, I have just been doing a lot of things today. I did a photo shoot with some models at the beach, and I've been processing photos, plus dinner, putting my kids to bed, etc. Don't worry, I'm going to respond to that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Look, so you had what was turning into the potential for a threesome - your girl was into that.
Right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
Then you started pushing the idea of you with a bunch of women, of whom she was one.
Ok and I think it's worthy of mentioning now again that that "line" was a light sprinkle of something I mentioned, like as I said before it's not what I'm actually trying to sell to her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
She doesn't go for that idea - she liked the idea of the sexual freedom, but not the member of a harem.
Well, not completely as you describe. We really just let the harem idea go, and have been talking about more grounded ideas.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
The more you tried to cajole her and persuade her into thinking the way you did, the more she backed off, killing any chances of the threesome.
Yep, that is true. I also noticed that while she is feeling emotional, the idea of any of this becomes very negative to her. But taking the advice of the initial respondant to my initial post, giving her some time to get out of the "nervous breakdown" mode, and then discussing when it can be done more naturally, she again becomes amenable to the threesome adventure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
I don't know the specifics of what went on - truth is a three-edged sword and all that. Whatever happened, she wants a monogamous relationship with you, and is making it very obvious to you that this isn't negotiable. You could respect those wishes, and not try to be "selling" her on the idea of your fantasy. If polyamory is *your* bottom line, then the two of you are quite simply not compatible.
Ok, true. Although this growth has flowered during my relationship with her. It was just a bud before that for 2 years or more. So I have not had an opportunity to be poly yet. If I was not in a monogamous relationship I could see if poly is right for me. Though I've gone on record here saying that I'm fairly certain I am a poly, I am still a poly virgin and I think it's a good idea for my fiancee and I to do whatever she is comfortable with allowing me, so I can see how it sits with me, and her. I hear this kind of "trying" destroys relationships. But nothing less is possible right now. And she is interested in this "Unicorn" on her own accord, more than I am actually (I have a dozen other girls who I give as much weight, I'm not targeting this other girl), so I think if we can be comfortable experimenting with that, than I can start to feel out how important it is to me without it being conjecture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
You said that you want a place with you a a few "girls" that you could "take care of" - and you said that they could have outside relationships (presumably sexual) with men, because you are not the jealous type - what would happen if your current partner decided that she wanted a man to live with you and her? Would you be fine with that too? (This last is kind of academic, since she has said that she isn't interested in that style of relationship)
Right. Nah, I'm not into male energy. I like being around women. It's not just sexual. I was raised by a single mother, and was a momma's boy for most of my 20s. I went through a lot to grow out of that, and be healthy, but I still have no interest in football, baseball, sports, hitting the gym, drinking beer, etc. I like being romantic, I like being affectionate, I like talking about feelings and relationships, I could go on and on, but the point is I like having relationships with women and by that I mean friendships, time spent, etc. Obviously I can stick my penis in them and make babies etc, but that's NOT why I like them more than men. So for me, we're talking girls only. I'm ok with playing with other guys in the same session, but not living together. But hey, you never know.
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