That is precisely my frustration Ciel! I made the decision when I told Maca I was poly, that I would not lie again to him. Within a few weeks it becamme obvious to me that I needed to really get down and dirty with myself. How could I avoid lying to him unless I stopped lying to myself!?
That quickly morphed into realizing that if I was going to manage to be fully honest and open with myself and him, I was going to have to be honest with the kids.
Ultimately, I think it was less than a month when we all realized (Maca,GG and I) that the only way this honesty thing was going to work was if it was all of the way. Honesty with everyone and about everything.
And- sometimes its been really scary. But frankly its been such a relief! The 25th of this month will be 3 years!
I really can't even believe I just wrote that! I remember reading about RP and Monos first anniversary and basling my eyes out over how hopeless our future seemed!
Anyway, its been so amazing, living honestly! Just surviving the terrifying moments would have been great. But the bonding, the sense of true acceptance that we've found together. We haven't denied our true selves. But we have been able to feel the acceptance from each other because we aren't hiding our true selves either.
Maca is honest that living with GG isn't his preference, but the choice he makes for the benefit of the whole. That one detail is so huge, that he can accept the love and desire to have GG near that the kids and I have, even though he doesn't share that.
Obviously, anyone who pays a lick of attention to dates, knows that we are still a 'work in progress'. But, I can't fathom going back to living in lies. The 'smallest' lies often create the biggest strife. If we hadn't found honesty, true and sincere honesty, we couldn't have gotten this far. We certainly wouldn't be as happy and hopeful as we are!
Now I want to limit my exposure to people who aren't like minded in that. I don't give a rip if they are poly, mono, straight, crooked (hehe) etc. just HONEST!!
"Love As Thou Wilt"