It's all so new
Hi everyone. My wife is in a relationship with another guy. I've always considered myself very liberal and free-thinking about sex & relationships, but I'm wrestling with this. It might have started more smoothly if my wife had been honest -- she brought up "seeing other people" after the relationship began. I had suspicions, snooped her Facebook, and here we are.
I'm not devastated, and I'm trying to be positive and let her enjoy her fling. But I do have days when I'm angry and hurt. Of course, I also now have a free coupon for a fling of my own; how I'll find time to redeem it in my average-guy/kids/work/other work life, I have no idea, or how to even begin.
I will say all this has sparked some renewed sexual excitement for us. I've always been a pornhead and nagged her, gently, about threeways and swinging and whatnot. She's never liked the idea, I accepted that without resentment, and she knew I did. Now, along with the "other people" business, she told me to make arrangements to visit an on-premises swing club and wants to give me that threeway after all -- and she seems genuinely into these things. That is, I don't get the feeling she's trying to placate me so I won't be upset about her affair. In any case, there's been some hot sex lately.
It doesn't help that from the very tiny bit I know about her lover (I'm trying to resist asking, mainly to avoid ruining her fun), I don't think very highly of him. We've never met. Also, he lives in another time zone, so she's not likely to see him often.
And actually, the physical part of their affair hasn't happened yet. They met on a retreat and I guess hit it off; the relationship unfolded in FB messages. There's another retreat coming up in October, where they plan to fuck.
Oh, by the way, another reason I'm mad: in those FB messages he said -- in all caps, with exclamation points -- that they plan to fuck bareback. It took four agonzing days before I could get my wife to commit to a condom anytime she has intercourse with anyone but me. Apparently in her new circle of friends, bareback sex is celebrated. If she hadn't promised, I was prepared to end our marriage and break up the family.
Tomorrow morning is the one week anniversary of the day I saw she had neglected to log out of Facebook and snooped to see if I was right. So, it's been a busy week. Thanks for listening!