Roots -- welcome.
You sound like you experience emotional flooding.
Might want to google that term and learn more about it -- esp when you are trying to have hard conversation with scout.
But keep on talking and sorting yourselves out so you are on the same page using the same language. Breaking down the elephant
will sometimes take several passes. (That's another thread where I talked about breaking down the elephant -- getting down to the bottom of the problem together -- whatever it is.)
Take a time out to work on yourselves.