Thanks very much for the clarification.
While there will always be some sort of hierarchy when it comes to the day-to-day life decisions where those living with each other have to have some degree of priority when it comes to those decisions, it is very very hard to try to enforce a hierarchy in terms of feelings.
So when folks talk about "hierarchical poly" I am always at pains to determine which type of hierarchy they are referring to.
Well, I don't mean to pry, and if you want to write more about it, then please feel free, but I tend to like to make sure that jealousy is being addressed in a relationship, because it's usually a symptom of some unresolved issue. Have you worked through whether or not there are specific activities that you do that causes problems, or is it this whole comparison of "you must love me more then them" syndrome?
Sounds like you guys have got a pretty decent handle on what is going on, though.
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb