View Single Post
  #2  
Old 09-02-2012, 05:08 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,207
Default

I had a teacher who used to say, "Change is the only absolute in life." Nothing is truly static. We humans would stagnate if we didn't change. I feel we must welcome change not just to survive, but to thrive! Yet, we also need to feel secure. So, I suppose the task before us is to find ways to have that sense of security internally, without investing in the expectation or hope that things will never change.

In poly, or in any relationship, it is simply unrealistic and unreasonable to cling to the illusion that the people one loves and the dynamic of those relationships will not, or should not, change. Yes, ridiculous, as you said. I feel that any partnered, committed relationship really starts to go sour when we stop seeing our partner as a new person each and every day. Take nothing and no one for granted! There is always something to discover in another - it is essential to realize that.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 09-02-2012 at 05:27 PM.
Reply With Quote