Yes I was fully aware of that Beauty was on here.
I am no longer involved with Beauty and Bear in a dating fashion anymore.
I believe that the lines of comunication fell apart somewhere awhile back and that eveyone including me quit talking about what we were really feeling and just let things go along and it all began to create awarkward feeling all around.
It didnt help matter when I started dating one of Beauty and Bear's mutual friends. What started out as an inisent adult night out away from everyone and everything with a friend turned into more. I never intended to bring (we will call him) OU Boy into things and to start an romantic relationship with him. But it happened. I was really scared how to present this to the triaid and I did not handle this very well. I know that.
When Bear first brought up the issue of me dating OU Boy he wasnt happy about the fact that things went the way they did but seemed ok with the issue. Said that he wanted me to be happy and if this made me happy then ok.
I ended up moving out of their house almost 2 weeks ago. I was very scared of moving. For one I really dont take change well. I have learned to adapt very well but I dont like change. And two I was really really scared because I knew that it would change the dynamic of the triaid realationship. Beauty knew that I was scared. I told her. I dont think she knew exactly why I was so scared but she knew that I was scared. She joked with me about the fact that I was just going to be moving like a mile away and it wasnt like I was moving across the world. Right now I feel as though I have moved across the world from her. She told me that we would still see each other all the time and that there would be dinners at her house and basically I took it as everything would be OK. Boy was I wrong!
Beauty and Bear helped me move that Wed. and that is the last day that either one of them has been at my house. OU Boy on the other hand comes to my house and spends time with me and the Spawn almost daily.
The Tues that school started I went over to their house to pick the Spawn up because we had set it up that on the days that I had class that the Spawn would ride the bus the their house. We ate dinner and then we did as we always did and went on the back porch to smoke. This is when the bomb was dropped from Bear on the that we were no longer dating but we could still be really really good friends that just dont have sex. He said that it was because that he just didnt date his friends girlfriends. And then there was also the fact that he mentioned that he thought that I need more out of my realationship than what him or Beauty was giving me. I sat there dumbfounded. I didnt know what to say. I just felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest and the breath was being knocked out of me. Beauty didnt say much during the conversation. I loved Bear but I was honestly IN LOVE with Beauty. During the time before dinner Beauty never said anything to me about what was going to be said after dinner. She kissed me like we had done so many times before. Then when Bear ended the realationship she said nothing.
It has been about a week since the conversation. I have made several attempts to hang out with Beauty or talk to her online or something and havent gotten anywhere on my attemts to try to make an awkward situation any better.
I also learn today when the real truth came out about the other reasons why the relationship has ended and Im hurt even more because instead of just saying this isnt working for us the blame was placed on someone and something else (which I am aware is a contributing factor but not the only factor). But like I said in the begaining of all of this the lines of comnication have been broken for sometime now.
Right now Im hurt and I feel that my feeling on this realationship dont matter and that the choice was made about ending all of this by the two of them and my imput was not needed or taken into account and that it doesnt matter that I was hurt by any of this.