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Old 09-02-2012, 04:14 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

I was OK with Adam having sex with her (she was nice and actually in a similar situation with a husband who wasn't much interested in sex with her) and looking & forward to getting over that hurdle so I could deal with any jealousy, envy or adjustments I needed to make. At that time though, he had sort of dropped his responsibility to work on our sex and intimacy that he'd agreed to, so I asked him about it and wanted to make sure I spoke up. Instead of setting up phone reminders or something, he did a drastic flip flop, which he is rather prone to and said ďif I canít do it right I wont do it AT ALL and I wont date ANYONE!Ē I just wanted him to put equal energy to us and our agreements but I guess that my timing sucked, he decided he wasnít sure he was ready to date after all, and after the yes-no, yes-no rollercoaster of negotiation with his girlfriend his wishy-washy attitude was enough to end things.

This was about 8 months ago, and after he had more time to think about it he still decided not to date anybody again until he works through some of his stuff. Truth is though I am grateful he chose to do that, and know he needs to work on it to be happy in any relationship, sexual or otherwise. And of course it sure is much easier being on the ďI have a partnerĒ end as opposed to ďYou have a partnerĒ end. I'm still hoping he does whatever it takes so he can date again, not just for his well being but there is some truth to the fact I would feel badly dating a second person before he is dating again.

Yes, I am aware I talk a lot.

So thatís where Adam and I stand Ė we re-polyíed well fuck Ė itís been 18 months. I have a partner, Brian, for a bit over 16 months, and Adam isnít dating (and hasnít indicated any interest in doing so again soon, though he has started seeing a counselor which Iím very excited about). On a side note, he has said he is fine with me sharing stuff about him/us, which is why Iíve elaborated so much. Brian & his wife are much more private, so there is not much to say about that in general.

Since the re-poly Iíve gone out on several first dates with guys over the last year (I tend to be so smiley and friendly they think itís a rousing success whether it is or not, to my chagrin) one was nice enough to go out with a few times, but not nice enough to deal with a the long commute to see. Iíve talked to a few women but only been out with one, had a second disastrous/torturous meeting with her. I finally took my OKCupid profile down last month since Iíve upped my hobby and other interests, and while Iíd love to date somebody who was a BFF/lover, Iím content with how things are for the most part.

So here I amÖboring, mostly stable and uneventful. Wishing I was more extroverted and wandered across suitable men or women more easily but Öthatís why I never got around to posting until now. Nothing..happens hereÖ.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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