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Old 09-02-2012, 01:57 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I think monogamous relationships and polyamorous relationships are pretty much the same, people just have more of them in poly. All the things necessary for a good mono relationship are also what make a poly relationship work: things like mutual respect, caring, compassion, intimacy, honesty, effective communication, affection, consideration, a willingness to take responsibility, love or a loving quality to interactions, allowing space for the person to be themselves (autonomy), and some kind of commitment. And people must love themselves in order to love others, whether they are in poly or mono situations.

The only thing that many monogamous people can't quite understand is how one can maintain all these things with more than one person simultaneously, but the basics of what makes any relationship satisfactory and successful are all the same things, IMHO. "Poly ways?" I don't know what the hell that even means.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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