Originally Posted by Anneintherain
I am just curious - does he mean that he will play with somebody if you find them for him, and if you do not find somebody for him your relationship will end or he will keep try to coerce you into being kinky when you seem quite clear about your boundaries?
What is his plan if you do not "procure" a sex toy for him? I am wondering if he is afraid of rejection, and in need for some counseling on his self esteem. Perhaps he assumes he cant find somebody himself. He doesn't know how to approach them and he sees you as easily being able to connect with people so more likely to be able to find this magical person (just a random wondering, no strong feeling that is how he feels)
I am wondering does he have a past of successful BDSM relationships before he met you? Or was it a want that maybe he dabbled in now and again but he never found somebody to actually be deeply involved with, and comfortable with in those things. I'd imagine if its the latter that he is more scared than he can admit of trying things with somebody new, as he is so comfortable with you he's really focusing on doing it with the person he knows and trusts most, so its letting him avoid facing just how uncomfortable you are about it.
Sorry was busy with work and spent the night at M's house last night so it took me a bit to get back on line.
No my husband never threatens to end the marriage or etc. He is uncomfortable seeking partners on his own. He would rather play with me to be honest I just can not do it.
In social situations together he is the out going one. I do not get it. I am a strong INTJ personality. I love fiercely have a small close group of friends> Hubby is the social butterfly usually.
I don't think that he has had a successful long term BDSM partner just dabbled in it.