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Old 08-31-2012, 07:53 PM
snowmelt snowmelt is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 172

Originally Posted by DarayTala View Post
I think then my question is, how do I help him?
The only thing you can do is tell him how you feel. It sounds to me like you've already done that. You've done everything you can for him. One thing you can do for yourself is learn better personal boundaries with him. You can't fix him or heal him. You can only acknowledge who he is now, and let him know you want him to be happy, and let him know he must find his own happiness through his own healing.

It sounds like he wants to get back into the same kind of relationship he had with you before, where he violated boundaries. Getting back into that relationship with him will give you the same thing you had before, and it will remove the incentive for him to become a better person.

He has work to do on himself. You can't do it for him. He has to want to do it for himself. If you are struggling watching him struggle with himself, then the new question becomes:

What is your struggle telling you about yourself?

Last edited by snowmelt; 08-31-2012 at 08:26 PM.
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