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Old 08-31-2012, 07:40 PM
snowmelt snowmelt is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 172

Hi Panda,

You sound like a very sincere person with good personal boundaries. You sound like you're willing to learn about different ways of doing things, and you already have a pretty good idea of what works for you.

That's a pretty good place to be. It sounds like there are some differences between you and the girl you care about that may make you two incompatible in some ways. It sounds like you already know that might be true, and you plan to talk more about it this weekend.

I'll share with you a few things I've learned over the years. The most important thing you can do for yourself is get to know who you are. It sounds like you're making really good progress with that.

This world is full of people who do different things in different ways. As you live, you will come across people who like you, and like the things you do. You will also come across those who don't like you. It's easy to relate to those who like you.

What about those who don't? They will have a variety of ways of letting you know - a look, a comment, doing something, etc. As long as you are being who you truly are (or really trying to be) with honesty and integrity, and you know you are not trying to hurt someone with your actions, the best way to handle criticism is to be aware of it and let it slide off your back, while always being pleasant to the person criticizing you. Yes, I really did say that. Be nice back to them. Self confidence always wants to be pleasant.

What does it really mean to let criticism slide off you? It means being able understand and acknowledge what the person is saying to you and respect the fact that they wanted to say it, while at the same time knowing their opinion does not make you any different than you were before they spoke.

I hope you have a great weekend. I hope you continue to make the effort to learn who you are and what works for you.
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