This is the first time this has happened to us. And he actually had liked her for a long time - he would point her out to me when we would be out - prior to discussing having a poly style relationship - then when he went out alone - he got her phone number - texted/talked etc. Told her he was poly - but not the fact that I am bi. I ended up getting rather upset because 1 he hid her phone number from me 2 he lied to me when I asked when he got her phone number 3 was talking to her a lot behind my back. So it started off shady to begin with.
He says he would be okay with me having a lesbian lover - but he would still expect to be part of that relationship. So this again leaves me lost - because he was perfectly fine "macking" it up with this one girl that he had liked and brought home and I friended her - did things with her for her that I wouldn't have done had I known that she only was interested in my husband.
I think he didn't fully explain the situation to her which is his fault. He is the initiator I guess is what I am saying. Me I am quiet and shy - but do have girl friends that i do not want him involved with and he talks about them a lot and how he wants to be with them and make it work.
It makes me feel like I am pimping my friends out to him and that I can't really have any of my female friends over because I know that all he wants to do is well it with them. Ugh...I really think that him saying he is poly is just an excuse to have flings ...and I have no desire to have flings....too much emotionally damage done by this experience we are getting out of.