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Old 08-30-2012, 01:39 PM
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lovefromgirl lovefromgirl is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: The Great Soggy Northeast
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Originally Posted by yul View Post
Well it turns out the things I enjoy doing don't really have a whole lot of interesting people unfortunately.

Even at work or where I train, it's really boring.
Sounds like a personal problem, to borrow from my metamour.

What is it that you do, exactly? If it's even boring you, why are you doing it? (This applies equally to work and play.)

Some spaces are gendered by tradition, but you can help break that tradition. I would welcome men to a sewing group, for example. My local tailors are all men; why should they feel unwelcome among people who are teaching themselves the same trade, essentially? Textile enthusiasts of the world, unite! And teach me better hemming techniques while you're at it!

Some spaces are gendered by the tone of the activity. When I participated in writing workshops, by and large the ladies were writing romances. Even I couldn't relate, and I'm a woman. But neither could I relate to the testosterone-laden genres: the thrillers, the shoot-em-ups. By and large, speculative fiction (SF/F) tends to have the most balanced demographic. I go to a con and I meet men, women, neither, both, etc.

Women are beginning, finally, to understand that computers are fun for everyone. The assumption that the sciences are for men is dying, so we can pursue math and coding and all that awesome stuff. Geekdom is turning egalitarian. Women game, women hack, women have LAN parties (or go to them).

But the place you might look for a true cross-section of society is your local performing arts group. There's room both backstage and onstage. Music is universal. In my community, the high school band director is married to the director of the community band. Neither is considered more or less competent than the other.

Of course, they'll all pitch you out on your arse faster than you can say "Sorry!" if you call anyone a loser or a chick. Might want to adjust that part of your thinking before daring to make friends across gender lines. Those attitudes are the reason why some spaces are women-only by choice.
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