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Old 08-30-2012, 04:08 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

You might want to consider having her not take the bus on Friday, and clearing this up on the phone or skype or what have you.

You have a right to have what you want. You have every right to feel what you feel. There is no need for you to feel badly about not knowing what you didn't know. You could feel a little (JUST A LITTLE) badly about not asking. And, as GG says, now you know to ask instead of assume stuff.

I'm sorry this feels so harsh to you. I, myself, hate being in confusion. I was in a meltdown last week (not about love, but about work) and it was just awful.

I just want to advocate for your clear communication prior to her arrival. I know for me, being in someone's presence, seeing their face, hearing their voice directly, being able to smell them, all those things make it much harder for me to be clear-minded about what I want FOR ME. How I feel. Because all I feel in their presence is longing for them.

You have said you don't want to lose her, but I wonder if you can re-frame that. You're not 'losing', you're discovering that you thought you were a match, and you're actually not-so-much. This is WHY people date. This is why you wait to have sex. I'm assuming you were waiting for something. It's a great blessing to find out prior to having sex, that this is not really the person you wanted to have sex with. You're gaining the ability to find the person that truly is a match for you. The person who can love only you, the way you want to be loved.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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