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Old 12-10-2009, 04:03 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

I've got 20 years in the military spending months away from home. I was married before beginning deployments and was still happily married at the end of my deployment years. What happened after that was not deployment related but a product of my own weakness in connecting with myself.

There is enough pressure in going away from home for half a year. It'll be hard for people not in the military to relate or even guess at what it would be like.
I think the one way it could work is if you had an established functioning relationship built long before deployments so everyone was very settled. So essentially the relationship would be support for the person left at home. In that case I could see comfort and a benefit to this.

The person deploying could probably find lots of random "fuck buddies" or friends with benefits for short periods of times but again, only if that is how poly works for you. If you want to use poly as a way to justify one night stands and plenty of flings, feel free to go that way as well as there are plenty of people just waiting for that level of permission. That is generally not based on love but a desire to get off.

As far as the "critical thinking" comment goes - the ability to accept orders without question in times of need is a critical element of the military. I admit that this is not a trait I see very often in my own local poly community. That is why they are generally not in the military nor do they have a very developed concept of what it is all about just like I know shit about being a social activist. There are plenty of diverse thinkers in the military and the Canadian military is very progressive even to the point of paying for gender reassignments.

I supervise on average 15 people when deployed at sea. There is a massive amount of time dedicated to addressing their family issues as is. So while I can see the poly dynamic working for very mature individuals I don't see it being very easy in an environment filled with young people who have a hard enough time adhering to non fraternization regulations as it is LOL! If the military seems overly controlling that is because it is - but those who sign up know it.

All this being said - I know poly people in the military and am not sure how it works for them. I do not deploy any more which is a good thing. Poly is a part of my life through Redpepper not because I chose it. It works because of very specific things. Going away for extended periods of time would not be a workable thing for me personally.

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over

Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 12-10-2009 at 04:41 PM.
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