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Old 08-30-2012, 02:21 AM
Pliglet Pliglet is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 45

I am the type of person who often has a lot of excessive fears, and an extraordinary ability to over think anything in any given situation.

My uni-graduation is fast approaching, which is exciting (and petrifying - after this comes 'the real world'), and we have two organised events to celebrate. a casual pub event which is being hosted by my class, as well as a graduation ball which the faculty will host for us. Both cost and arm and a leg, and of course - both come with an invite for partners to attend.
and i feel a bit stumped by what to do. I am sure that both H & M think i should take M, which i'd love to do. But being poly is not socially acceptable yet, and my classmates have heard of H and 'her' partner often enough before we became a triad that i can't imagine they wouldn't cotton onto the fact that her M and my as yet nameless partner are one and the same.

And i don't feel safe enough with any of them to truly explain my lifestyle to them. PLUS, i worry. what would the professional ramifications be? i've considered just buying the two tickets and potentially taking H, and to just imply to those friends who don't understand anything other than mono that 'my' partner couldn't make it. but it feels deceptive and wrong.

I'm not ashamed of M (except when he's being gross and if he reads this, love you!) or H for that matter, but at the same time, our city is small. maybe 1 million inhabitants, 2 if you consider the state as a whole. We have the whole two-degree's of separation going on, not the 6 degrees that you get with the whole world. So how could this affect me long term?

And yet, i GUSH about them both. I may only refer to H as my partner very rarely, but i gush about her anyway, and she and i def have no NRE left. We've lived together for 20+ months after all.
And i knew about M's flaws well before i saw tthe positives (of which there are many, and more each day <3 ) so i might still be a little bit in that new-relationship phase, i'm certainly not blinded by the blank canvas of a 'new' person.

Half the time i just want to shout it from the roof tops and the other half i want to tell people not to expect me to detail or define my life because they should mind their own business LOL.

So i guess, really, the moral of the story for me should be, discuss this sh!t with your partners, not the internet. After all, that's what they are there for.
Our FMFTriad + 3 children + 2 pets = one crazy household
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