Originally Posted by newbie1
It sounds like you have a lot of pressure on you - being more or less in the middle of this triangle. I do hope that you can make this work - and I feel it is extremely important that both women get along at some point - this would make it a lot easier for you as well as them. This way you are not caught in the middle of any jealousy, insecurity etc all the time.
Yes, I just spoke with my wife about the idea of meeting. It turns out that my lover will be in town next week, but we will probably not meet as we want to be able to have privacy and take our time for the first meeting. But I had the crazy idea that maybe she and I and my wife could have lunch. But I think it's much too soon for that (since my lover and I have not yet met). I expect in the future they will meet, and I think they would like each other. It's hard to imagine me being in love with and so attracted to two different women who would would not have things in common and like each other.
My wife is surprisingly calm about all of this and feeling OK, but it changes for her, some days are good and some are bad. I keep encouraging her to talk with me, especially during the bad times.
I really want this all to work out for all of us over time, and I don't know what the right answer is, but I trust that if we are all open and keep talking and thinking about things that we will find the right answer over time.