Originally Posted by abjection
You say he is "supportive" of your quad, but he is firmly monogamous and still talks about exploring a relationship with you? That sure doesn't sound supportive of your quad to me.
To me it sounds like you are crushing hard on this guy because he is suddenly emotionally available and probably sending a lot of emotional mixed messages your way. YOU need to decide though - which is more important to you in the long run, your established relationship or this new crush?
It does not sound to me like the two of these choices are compatible with one another. More like an either/or. And no one can make this decision for you.
Why is it impossible for him to be supportive of her current relationship status and also want to date her? Clearly she's not exclusive, so his interest in her isn't taboo.
I'm very supportive of my prospective girlfriend's marriage. I still want to date her. Granted, I'm not mono, but it sounds to me like this guy is willing to consider being a part of her life despite his mono tendencies.
Skye: Proceed with caution. There's a good chance this will fail and you'll lose a friend and a very slim chance he'll either come around to poly or stay with you for more than the short term. Mono/Poly can work (there are lots of people who do it), but it's VERY difficult, especially if the Mono isn't your primary partner.