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Old 08-29-2012, 10:13 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,369
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So, finally saw the show.

I was warned that there was a lot of sex, but I expected things like them going to bed, and then it cuts, or sex under covers so you don't see anything. Nooooo. You can see almost everything. There is full female nudity, and you can see everything but genitals for males. There are videos of people having orgasms. It's way more raunchy than I expected even after being warned.
And it makes me curious how they found people who agreed to that, especially when some of them weren't out yet.

I find that my feelings about the people in the show have evolved. I had a bad feeling about the triad at the very start, they didn't seem to communicate that well, but then I started liking them more and more. They're very sweet and I went "aww" a lot about them. They kind of feel like inexperienced kids who fumble and make a bunch of mistakes, but have a good heart behind it all.
And that's very endearing.

On the other hand, the quad started with a good impression from me because of all the communication... but then I started disliking some of the stuff. They had very strong idea about what is or isn't really poly, and while they asked about each other's boundaries all the time they seemed to go and disregard them a bunch, or push them as far as possible, and it made me uncomfortable.
I was a bit surprised that they seemed to have a rule than anyone one of them dates needs to be "up for grabs", or it's "not poly". It seems to me there are good reasons not to want to have partners in common, just like some people won't date in the family, or in the workplace. I disliked the community of it, and I found myself surprised by it, because in theory I like the idea. But watching it, it reminded me of my experience at the girl guides, in which people constantly took my stuff and then told me after the fact, adding that I needed to learn to share.
At least I haven't seen them go behind each other's back, except the one time with Tahl.

I found myself not liking Jen at all, and I'm not sure why. Intellectually, I can see she's the one with the raw deal. The others keep imposing stuff on her that she's uncomfortable with, and when she tells them she wants to be alone, or doesn't feel like a hug, or really isn't comfortable with the woman her husband cheated with coming to her housewarming party... They just do it anyway and tell her she needs to get over it, and when she finally yields to peer pressure and says "fine" (not that they weren't going to do it anyways), people compliment her "growth", and that grated me the wrong way.
So I don't really know why I felt annoyed by her. Maybe I wanted her to either be fine with things in the first place, or stand for herself. It got on my nerves to see her uncomfortable with things in every episode, and then letting the others do it anyways, even as you can see her uncomfortable about it.

I know she says she's the one with jealousy... but jealousy often comes from insecurity, and how can she stop being insecure if she knows that her boundaries won't be respected if she places them? It seems to me that would only slow down progress.

I enjoyed the few scenes with people outside of the main relationships, especially the ones with non-poly people, such as the families. They were pretty emotional.

I wonder how much of the whole thing actually happened and how much was scripted. Obviously the two families meeting was planned to begin with. And it seems to me the families would have expected something when cameras showed up to their place to film their children.

I liked that none of the families shown were OPPs, because they're already over-represented in popular culture, I feel. It was nice seeing that pretty much all the females had more than one boyfriend, just like all the males had more than one girlfriend. It felt weird that not one of the females (be it in the main families or the extended ones) seemed to be straight. I'm guessing the ones who were either weren't out and didn't want to appear in the show, or were cut out because it was less interesting (LOTS of female-on-female sex scenes. The most graphic ones I have ever seen in my life, actually, since I never watched lesbian porn, being straight.)

I really enjoyed the relationship parts, but I had to laugh when people were saying "it's not all about the sex". I know it isn't, but in the show, it pretty much is, there is sex in every single episode. I'm glad that they're comfortable with their sexuality and all, but I wish the show had been on a different channel that didn't feel the need to put sex in it all the time. It would have been better in fewer episodes, I feel, if at all.

So my wishes for the next polyamory show would be one that's more of a documentary and focuses more on other aspects of the people's lives than the dating. I feel this show covered that already, maybe now we can have one that just features people who happen to be poly, without it being the only characteristic, and follow their lives, their jobs, their struggles and everything.

I thought the tattoo ring was a terrible idea, but I guess they've known each other from childhood it seems, so even if they decided to end the relationship, it would still be a friendship ring or something.
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