Thread: What to do
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:26 PM
Lover Lover is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1
Unhappy What to do

Hello, so I found this forum trying to google advice on adjusting to a poly relationship. I'm currently dating this amazing woman who lights up my world and she is poly. I've only been in mono relationships, but a poly lifestyle doesn't seem out of the norm and I'm ready and willing to learn. However, recently I've become attracted to someone she's introduced me to and I talked to her about asking this person on a date. At first she was bright eyed and eager for me to go out and date (we keep those communication lines open). Then I stayed consistent and told her that they said yes (still saying that she's ok with it). Those two incidences were the only times I spoke about dating someone while dating her. But today, I asked her for advice on a good place to eat while I'm on this said date. And she became a bit insecure or something resembling insecurity. She then expressed that I'll just be having sex with them so I shouldn't worry about where I eat. Now any other time I would laugh and joke around and at first I did, but I knew there was an under lying reason on why she said that. We talked, she apologized and did express that she was insecure about me going out on a date with this particular person and was just being a bit irrational.
I'm so new at this that my first reaction to these insecurities was to not go on this date and to stay with her. But, I feel as if this action would be unfair to both of us. For when she wants to talk to another wherever we are, I allow her space and let her be who she is. So not going out on this date could possibly start a ripple affect of I date her while she dates many. And I'm not okay with that.
My question is how can I calm my lovers nerves and insecurities and still be able to explore this new lifestyle with her? I thought she would be my guide through all my questions but I believe her past might be playing a role right now.
Any thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated
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