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Old 08-28-2012, 07:20 AM
Urvile Urvile is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Seattle
Posts: 25
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I
Quote:
f you and her had never existed, knowing what you know now, would you be open to polyamory? Would you be interested in an open relationship, or a DADT situation if you were optimistic in your partner's honesty?
I'd say yes to some sort of polyamory, and ask for the same things, honesty, take it as it comes. but I'd add that I'd be afraid, because I was but didn't admit that then. And white knuckling did not help the process.

DADT, absolutely not.


Quote:
it wasn't useful for you to go the person you mention in your "first try at poly" and to email him and flip him shit about it. Lots of people will take others at their word (like you do with her) and its not his job to hunt you down and make sure she's not a liar - its nice if they do, but not something you can take for granted.
I disagree strongly.
The one thing I've learned is no one is a island. if I were to enter into a another relationship, I'd need to know, not like, but know, all parties involved, and to do this over time. Months. Most of the real heart ache was created simply out of ignorance and impulse. I don't want to make him the focus of this, you are right, it's about her and I. But, what ever ignorance he had, it was by his choice. He didn't go away, he didn't ask questions, and he was dishonest multiple times.

Last edited by Urvile; 08-28-2012 at 07:25 AM.
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