Sorry it took so long to reply, I've been busy.
Honestly, I don't know. I love him so much and would never want to lose him. I don't think I HAVE to be dating other people to be happy. But I really think I would be happy dating the person I have in mind as well as my boyfriend. We are really close friends with the guy I really like. He fills the void when my boyfriend can't be there. We are emotionally really close and I would love to become intimately close with him as well.
I think my boyfriend feels that he would get jealous with me dating someone else. I told him I understand but I would be able to help him out with it. I am very open when it comes to my emotions and thoughts with him, but sometimes he has trouble opening up. I told him as long as he tells me we can work it out.
I really disheartens me that he hasn't even tried. I told him how I feel about it and I wish that he would at least be willing to learn about some it. Honestly if I could be satisfied with being in a mono relationship, I would. I have opened my eyes and realized that there is so much more to love and there is no way I can close them and deny it now.
I just don't know what to do. I would like him to be accepting and allowing to open our relationship, but I don't want to force him into anything he doesn't want to do. I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place.