E, T, B and I spent this weekend with some old friends (and some other friends of theirs, some of whom we knew and some we didn't) at a big house on the beach that they had rented in celebration of their return from overseas. We all cooked and drank and talked and played board games and just relaxed. It was a *wonderful* time, although of course I managed to find little ways to torment myself here and there.
- Our friends gave us the master suite, with the only king-sized bed, since, while another couple there also had a baby, we had three adults and thus needed the most space (poly perks!). Gia eyed the bed and made a comment about not being sure if we'd all fit, and I spent part of the first evening wrapped up in my head, trying to decide if I'd be able to handle it if she/they ended up deciding that they needed more space and asked me to relocate to an air mattress or the futon upstairs.
It didn't come to that -- we all fit just fine and slept well. Gia had a cold, and wanted to sleep on one end of the bed, where she could easily reach tissues. Bee sleeps between her and Eric, so my spot ended up being on the other end of the bed, next to Eric. His lower leg was pressed against mine as we were falling asleep, and it felt so warm and nice. He reached out once and gave my calf a quick caress. I squeezed his leg in return.
As we were laying there, a number of things happened, some nice and some less nice. For instance, Gia asked me to do an important favor for her, which made me feel good, but then another friend came and laid down beside her, which made me jealous because I wanted to be doing that. When I woke up, it took me a moment to understand that everything after the caress from Eric had been a series of dreams.
- At one point, a friend brought up a hobby that she wants to pursue. It's a hobby that Gia used to be very into, and Gia eagerly said that she thought she could spare a Saturday a month to work on it with our friend. I said nothing, but inside I was indignant -- how could she not be ready to commit to a monthly date night with me, yet be sitting there setting up a monthly hobby day with this friend??? I took a walk to cool off (and also because the view was gorgeous), and I reminded myself "Gia deeply values meaningful activities that enrich her life. She pours energy and time into them, far, far more than she ever hangs out with anyone *just* to hang out. If you want to get more dyad time with her, just suggest an activity that she'll find worthwhile and that you and she can share, like yoga or a class or a monthly play party. This is just how she works, it's not like she was trying to make time with that particular friend *before* the hobby was brought up."
- I've noticed this before, and after this trip I'm positive it's a real pattern -- Eric, more than anyone else, notices if I start to say something but get cut off and don't continue, or sometimes even if I just make a small sounds or gesture that indicates that I might have something to say but then don't say it. In both cases, he'll ask me if I had something to say. More than once it's helped me express myself, since my instinct normally isn't to plow forward if I'm not feeling listened to or if I'm hesitant about something I want to say. I really appreciate this tiny way that he supports me and shows that he's aware and paying attention to me. Maybe it's something he does for all his friends and I just haven't noticed, I don't know, but, regardless, it's special to me.
- The master suite also came with a large jacuzzi tub. About halfway through the first day, Gia mentioned to me that she thought she might take a bath. She then sighed and said that she might even like to take one with Eric, if it weren't for needing to watch Bee. I scoffed and told her that she absolutely should do just that, because I'd be more than happy to watch Bee. She took me up on it, and I chatted with our friends while minding the boy. About a half an hour later, Eric came down, clearly having just dried off, and told me that Gia wanted to know if I would scrub her back for her. You can probably guess that I didn't have to deliberate over my answer.
He took over watching Bee.
Gia had told me once before that she loves being intimate in bathtubs. Her anxiety and her difficulty in letting people close just slip away in the water. I'd never before taken advantage of this fact, and was delighted at the opportunity.
I stopped and laughed in the doorway when I saw that the tub was piled HIGH with bubbles -- they'd found some bubble bath, and the jacuzzi jets had taken the situation to a fairly absurd level. Gia was gorgeous, wet and smiling and welcoming, in her element. I slid in with her and began rubbing her with a washcloth. Suffice to say, incredibly sexy things happened, including D/s, orgasms for each of us, and a scrumptious side dish of sexual humiliation when one of our friends walked in halfway through and smacked me on the ass while I was laying on my stomach across Gia's lap.
Afterwards, Gia told me that she's determined to make more room for me, for us, for this, in her life. She told me that I'm "a blessing." All of it was incredibly gratifying to hear. I was just blissed out.
Things have been so *good* lately, in contrast to how much trouble I was having last month. I am still working hard to be chill and calm, but it feels like I'm getting a lot more in return lately, like the inputs of energy are matching my outputs of energy in a way that is actually sustainable.
Bee was incredibly adorable the entire trip, especially when interacting with the other baby, but that's a given.