I guess the question is, do you think you and he could embrace loving each other, without needing to change the relationship to be more primary (day to day shared decision making, living together, shared finances, maybe children, etc) in ways that his marriage might not be able to shift/open to make room for?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.