You seem to be describing what I found to be probably the most frustrating episode of the longstanding and ongoing relationship with my wife--a period of years when she was either unwilling or unable to communicate (as opposed to merely talking). Hard to say now how much I contributed to the situation, in hindsight at the time both of us seeming not much more than vehicles for our respective demons (imagine a demolition derby in hell).
I was particularly naive back then and tried everything I could think of, including packing up the family and moving overseas for a year partly in the attempt to postpone what appeared to be the looming relationship train wreck, followed by a windows-, doors-, ceiling- & mind-blowing DADT relationship that lasted a number of years, both of which helped me preserve my sanity and regain some perspective--or at least distract me while time did its dirty work.
Years later we're much closer, still in love, a little nearer to being able to communicate, even if each attempt still reminiscent of those nightmares one never resolves because inevitably one wakes up first, screaming.
Being typically male (and hence prone to sharing uninformed opinion, particularly when uncalled for) I don't understand the apparent lack of libido--my own identity depends almost entirely on it--hence possibly an identity issue. It may seem ridiculous to say but likely there's something he's not telling you, perhaps because he's unable to get a grip on it himself, no recourse but what's available to any deer transfixed by headlights. If so it may be only Jung himself could say what.