I believe I can understand your issue. I too am a woman who needs to feel attractive to her husband. My husband (while young and healthy with no ED issues at all) has never had a driving sex drive.
For years, my husband has confused my need for intimacy for sex. Don't get me wrong, I could have sex three times a day every day of the year and be content =) But for me "intimacy" is not the same as sex. What I crave is intimacy.
He's learned over the years together that holding my hand in public, kissing me throughout the day (goodbye in the morning, hello when we come home from work, etc); looking me deeply in the eyes and telling me he loves me and other actions of this nature keeps me feeling wanted, loved and happy.
The sucky part is that he's a very non-PDA type person, so holding hands in public is about all he is willing to do. Kissing is a PDA even if it's in our home, if someone else is here. And as for the other romantic type things ... there are days and days where both of us are too busy handling the day to day stuff that yeah, even 5 seconds for a lingering "welcome home" smooch is difficult to find energy for.
Yes, sex is the quickest way for me to feel desirable ... but I'm wondering if day to day stuff is taking over any thought of romantic stuff.
This might be a good common ground for you both?
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