He tells me he feels too tired on nights he stays home to take care of the kids. Because I normally put the kids to bed, it takes him a whole lot longer than it would take me, and I feel bad about asking him to do something that takes him hours when it takes me less than 45 minutes. I know eventually they'd find a rhythm, but he always struggled more with parenting than me.
he also says he'd stay in the relationship even if he no longer loved me. I know that he wants a partner to cook, clean, and raise children in exchange for financial stability, and I'm down with that deal, but I don't really know if he's all that interested in a romantic relationship. He says he is, but he's been so resistant to counseling, doc appointments, etc..., it's hard to see that.
He has the energy to go seek new relationship (anybody sane knows a new relationship takes energy and effort) he's not too tired for the kids, he's too tired to be an adult.
I wonder, since you're content to be the housefrau at home if not that interested in dating him,do you really care about this stuff? You are advocating for him to be a better person. It's hard enough to get a willing human to act right, I imagine its hopeless to get a non committal human to do so...
I don't know if you have other things going on, but your posts dont read that you are that invested in if your marriage lasts past tomorrow, I don't know if you're just defeated or not interested in your relationship anymore.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.