I actually have moved on to start stuffing some of my replies into my Blog Thread.
We are still Closed, and not Opening any time soon. Neither of us wants to mix active early childhood parenting with Polyamory -- it just doesn't appeal to us, and I have yet to come across a possible exception to the rule that moves me to renegotiate with DH sooner on that boundary limit.
I am loathe to act too fast too -- with eldercare pressures on my mind and hands. That's a huge Time and Brain drain.
We are not fit enough to offer ourselves as partners to Other(s) at this Time/Place.
But we've agreed to Open in Mind and Heart to just ourselves. Discuss and negotiate just us two to start for the next year. Work on ourselves and our relationship to walk the perimeters, smell the roses, do the checks, and do an honest assessment. If we WERE to Open -- what new Playground would we be seeking? What configuration? How to best execute that mission?
So lovermine, here we are NOW. Where should we go next?
He's been walking with me and traveling 'round the Sun with me near on two decades. I value his input.
I have started the thread for us to collect bookmarks for deeper offline conversation. (DH tends to lurk and read me and then talk to me in person or over email.)
We'll see where all that ends up when we are done talking. If we decide to park it there for longer or move it forward to Opening in Body and Soul too. And actually move it over to an active dating phase.
There is a Time and a Place for Everything. Everything should be at it's proper Time and Place.
Some things are NOT in my control in Life. But some things ARE. Like when I choose to be Open to More Love to Come In and when I choose to be CLOSED because there is too much going on already.
I always am amused at people who think they are not "really poly" or it doesn't "really count" as polyamorous practice unless they are actively dating or actively in a multi-partner configuration. I think polyamorous people are polyamourous 24/7! When are we NOT tending to the matters of the Heart? Our own Heart to start, and then that of our chosen Loves?
My merely being Open To More Love doesn't mean it will come at all, or come in the shape I want it to come. DH himself arrived in my life much too soon -- and I had to grapple with that then. A possible VERY Right One, but not quite at the right TIME!
I never bought the idea that there is only ONE Right One for me out there. I think there are MANY Right Ones out there -- but they don't always come at the Right Time or at the Right Place.
That is on me to discern for myself. Am I at a Right Time? Am I at a Right Place? Is he? Are WE?
So I think a lot. I know I sometimes think too much. It's constant Conversations Already in Progress
inside my own head.
I like to yammer.