In the past I have been in the swingers lifestyle...it was something that was fun. Satisfying for the moment. It was never about random sex, I think in 5 years of being in the lifestyle, we only had 2 one-night stands. We went out for dinner with the same couples for dinner and sex in an anonymous hotel. Usually myself and my partner would experience a sense of closeness afterward and enjoyed talking about how we were feeling, physically and emotionally. However, all this takes place outside of the world you live in, we would go to eat at places no one would know us, etc. We are exploring poly as an option, because we want that closeness to extend to our partner/s and be able to have a life within our community where this is not taboo.