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Old 08-24-2012, 03:48 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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They are talking about addicted to sex and/or addicted to the natural hormone high produce in New Relationship Energy. It is a brain cascade of hormones that gives you the "Wheee!" of pink fluffy lala clouds.

You can google more about neurobiology and neuroscience of falling in love but here's a brief. The adrenalin, dopamine, seratonin cocktail is a natural high.

If he's addicted to being high all the time - he's addicted and he doesn't want to do his responsibilities. He's like on crack or something. And like with living with a druggie -- do you want to live with someone this messed up all the time? If they make NO steps to break their addiction and come back to earth?

Quote:
I'm still processing what's being said, but I guess I'm wondering: How do I know if it's depression or he likes things the way they are? He doesn't seem depressed to me, but he doesn't like to talk about feelings and stuff with me, either. It's so hard for me to see that he's not interested... I don't know how I could tell.
Sigh. He's not depressed seeming?

Then I'm starting to red flag. I am worried about you. I know others wonder if it is possible you are codependent. But maybe it is NOT you.

Please take this to heart -- I'm not trying to heap more burdens on you. I know what I write could be Hard to Hear. I feel for you. I would not wish abuse on anyone, and I'm not saying you are being abused. Only you know your situation over there. I sincerely hope you are not. But if you are?

I do not think the abuse victim is actually codependent. He or she is suffering in another way.

Rather than suggest you stand up for yourself at this time then -- I'm going to suggest do NOTHING about him just yet. Stay safe FIRST while you learn about your options and decide what to do next. What do YOU want from life? You only get the one. Just quietly see your counselor on your own for professional help to assess this situation from a person who is actually THERE.

If he is not seeming depressed and he's using/abusing you, standing up when you don't know what is really going on and you are fragile could put you in larger danger. He could decide you are being "uppity" and take you down a few pegs.

So take this to highlighter. Be honest if other things on that list are happening to you. Then don't think about it til your appointment. Take it to your counselor to show person other things you may be experiencing. If it is not safe to leave it around the house, don't do it at home. Wait to go print it at the library on your appt day and take it to your counselor to fill out THERE and leave with the counselor.

http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/u...urphy-2010.pdf

And visit the rest of the website. Start here. Abuse vs healthy relationship.

If you are having trouble SEEING, perhaps it is because you are not able to see objectively any more. Once you live with weird it is very hard to see what is normal any more because YOUR normal has been so weird so long and your vision is constantly being fogged up. Waking up is hard.

You are being very brave in trying to help yourself. Ask your counselor about the cycle of abuse and if this could be happening to you or not.

I'm some internet stranger, not a pro counselor.

But I commend you and salute you
for trying to deal with a hard situation here. You are being brave in trying to get to the bottom of all this, and getting a pro to help you sort. That is HUGE!

Good on you! You are worth this and so much more. You have value, and dignity. You shine on with quiet courage for now.

I will hope you find a brighter and better future.

Namaste,
GG

Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-24-2012 at 01:56 PM.
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