Welcome to our forum.
Ultimately, only you can decide if you're "too idealistic" for *you.* Being young, you have the advantage time to learn, consider, and explore. If by "equal, mutual love polygons" you mean poly families that have no secondaries just primaries, that phenomenon exists, and in considerable numbers. I myself belong to such a family.
Anyway, I hope you won't hesitate to ask further questions, or express thoughts, concerns, etc.
Glad you're aboard.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"