Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
I have good friends who did.
For me-swinging just isn't my form of "comfortable and safe".
I need to REALLY REALLY know someone before I can get comfortable enough to sleep with them. That deep, permanent, emotional connection is a requirement for me.
Same here. I did not like swinging at all, in the traditional sense. It was all too impersonal to me and although I was very comfortable with an ongoing friendship , it was very hard to find a partner who was equally comfortable with 'dating' me but who also realized that we were not going to move in together, get married, etc... Eventually these guys either wanted to get as much action as they could, which isn't about polyamory at all, that's just about the sex. Most people on adult meeting sites are just looking for the sexual aspect, not all, but most. I felt that as a polyamourous individual, I was regarded as a 'freak', asking too much of someone, and continually hounded to just "live it up and have fun". I can't. I want to care about the person I'm having sex with, hang out a little.
My husband's BF has gone on trips with our family (kids see him as just dad's friend), spent holidays with us etc.. He has another good local friend (BF is long distance) that finally agreed to meet me after knowing hubby for years. What took so long? Most I guess are expecting a partner who is going to be bitter and jealous. He saw that I wasn't any of those. He accepted his place as a 'secondary' significant other.