Just verbal aggression, nothing physical or anything like that! He gets very upset and essentially yells at me, tells me I don't understand (the phrase "it's alright for you, you can fuck whoever you want" has been used at least once.)
Only YOU know the severity but I want to say this to you. Do not minimize verbal/emotional abuse just because it is not a punch in the face that leaves a bruise. Just because he's not as bad as your 6 years aggressive abusive one? Doesn't mean this too is not abusive and unhealthy. Abusers suck!
You are VERY CLEAR in your second to last paragraph as to how much this is hurting you.
I am very sorry you hurt.
If you have articulated this to him? And he keeps on
hurting you? You have a hard decision to make there. Stay for more of this treatment or walk away. Which is the least stinky choice?
this has been a bit of a thing for well over two years. Basically, I don't think this NEED for a constant supply of new partners, one after the other, is healthy, either for him or for our relationship.
You are correct. That NEED of his is not healthy. You do not mention how healthy is HE for YOU?
"Commitment" does not mean "doormat."
I'm not hearing from your post that he is showing commitment to HIMSELF to improve and better himself. Has he seen a doc for depression? A counselor for depression management? Self esteem issues? Jealousy issues? Negative self thinking? Sex problems? Andropause hormone shift? Actually doing something constructive to help himself or just destructive pissing about and parking inappropriate at your door?
I'm not hearing from your post how he shows commitment to his PARTNERS. The current long term relationships. He expect others
to fix his inner world problems of self esteem and all that? He expects others
to fix his problem of getting laid by new shiny all the time? He says ugly like "It's alright for you. You can fuck whoever you want?" That hurts you in your emotional health bucket, mental health bucket, and spiritual health bucket. (see your second to last paragraph.)
He may not be punching you to hurt your physical health bucket. But he's still going below the belt. I frown on this type of behavior to loved ones going on for 2 years!
Anyone can have a bad day. We all spill our bag and lose marbles sometimes. The thing to do is to apologize to our loved ones, collect the spill, make amends, and try not to do that again. But I'm not hearing apology being made, amends being made, effort to change for the good.
I just hear that verbal abuse gets hurled out and you having to be living with UGH. Is it like lather, rinse, repeat? Same old song different day?
I'd think about breaking up and walking away. You can fix your UGH. You cannot fix him.
Because TWO OUT OF THREE YEARS of nonsense like that is too much when he does not sound like he puts any effort to make things right within HIMSELF or within his ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS at all.
Just my 2 cents. But this is your life to run, not mine.