Hubs is no longer working those long days. Its been nice. His job used him. Didnt give raises for years and then gave very very tiny ones. Kinda a insult. He took all that super personally but wasnt willing to change it. He started this new job a month and a half ago. It was horrible when he worked those hours..And I did the best I could up until the problem.
Yes I do feel like I am still healing some days. Its that part of me that says Hubs is my best friend. And I felt betrayed. And like he didnt care. Essentially I felt like I lost my best friend. That was a hard pill to swallow. I took that 8 months to rethink ME. To find myself. That was the blessing that came out of that time. Its been a long time since I put myself first. Even when I had the bf, it was all about pleasing and making everyone happy. I ran myself ragged. I have 2 kids who are both involved in activities and I school them. During the months of crap, I didnt school them but I was also the carpooler for the neighborhood. Sometimes I have a hard time saying no lol. Even when it makes me run like crazy. And now. I can say no more often because I do have to think about my sanity as well. I can tell hubs how I feel. And not feel bad. (used to either not say anything or apologize when I did)
But hes undergone the same changes. Instead o being a jerk over these last 6 months when hes stressed, he actually says he had a bad day or if its ok to take a few minutes before being in the middle of chaos with kiddos lol. And he actually did home improvement stuff without getting irritated!! (YES another major turn!!) Hes not a jerk. Or anything. He actually is a really good guy who just this year has learned to SAY how he feels rather than just being a grump.
It was super hard for me to say I wanted out. Because the guy who didnt speak to me about anything for all that time.. Was not the guy I have known and loved for 20 years. Im used to the lil things. But the way he was acting was not him(Even he stated this)
Hubs and I have been making time for each other. WHich hadnt been something important until a few years ago. When we realized our relationship had been put on hold between kids work etc. We need to do it more often.
I tend to think I try too hard to make sure everyone is taken care of. My ex included and we dont even have a sexual relationship and havent for a year and a half. I agree with everyone needing special time. I just dont want to rush into anything. I agree hubs and I are still healing with each other. I dont want to jump into a major relationship just yet. Meeting people would be nice. I dont just jump into bed. I want a real relationship with the person, Just like I have with hubs.
I appreciate everyones insight and thoughts so far. You have made me think. And I will be looking into a lot of the suggestions with hubs
Keep the advice coming
I am reading every bit of it.